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Playing the Name Game
That age-old question "What's in a name?" has been given a most interesting answer by a fellow named Cody Baker. He's found money in a name. Maybe.
Visit his Web site, www.changemyname.com., and you'll discover that he is willing to change his name to whatever the highest bidder desires. One bidder is willing to pay to have Mr. Baker's name changed to Oprah Winfrey while others are vying for a commercial moniker. How's Mr. Goodwrench?
So, "What's in a name?" Shakespeare had Juliet ask rhetorically of Romeo. "That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." As Shakespeare recognized, we and our families take our names most seriously; no other identity will do.
I knew a fellow who took perverse pleasure in upsetting certain people by mispronouncing their names on purpose. He could really infuriate someone simply by leaving out a letter or two of a surname or transposing syllables. When he introduced me to Donald McGraw, he said, "Lou, I'd like you to meet Arnold McGrath."
I also recall how irritated Frank Noedler became when my friend whom I won't name referred to Noedler as Fred Nerdler. My point is that our names are quite precious to us, off limits to humor. That old chestnut, "Call me anything but late for dinner," is a sentiment most people do not take seriously. Rather it should be "Please call me by my proper name even if I'm not the first called to dinner."
And that's perfectly fine. We should be proud of our family names even if Mom and Dad had a little fun with our first names.For example, in The Butler's collection is work of an artist named Otto Botto. And those who remember the TV western Gunsmoke will appreciate my meeting a fellow named Marshal Dillon.
On the other hand, we know that some individuals are not thrilled with their family names and make the necessary adjustments. My favorite example is Bernie Schwartz. When he was a young man, he dreamed of being a Hollywood star. He also knew his family name might be an impediment.Thus, Bernie Schwartz became Tony Curtis and a great movie star.
Can you imagine John Wayne as a rugged Hollywood actor who played heroic sheriffs, soldiers, marines and Navy officers had he kept his birth name, Marion Michael Morrison? (All right pilgrims, stop laughing!)
An English singer with a great voice, Arnold George Dorsey, turned the table. You haven't heard of Dorsey, you say. Well, you've heard him as Englebert Humperdinck. He rescued a the German composer of the opera Hansel und Gretel from obscurity by adopting his name. Humperdinck (the singer, not the composer) was my mother's favorite entertainer and my entire family got a kick out of the fact that she could pronounce his name when she had a penchant for mispronouncing so many others.
We still laugh at Mom calling Vic Damone "Victor Moan" and Paul Anka "Paul Yanka."
"The Artist Formerly Known as Prince" resumed his identity as Prince in 2000, not, as wags suggested, The Artist Formerly Known as the Artist Formerly Known as Prince. (He was born Prince Rogers Nelson in 1958.)
Talk about an identity crisis. Rapper Sean Combs called himself "Puff Daddy," then "P. Diddy." Today he is simply "Diddy."
Our schoolmates or childhood friends often give us our nicknames, wanted or unwanted, that stick with us at least through high school. I got off easily with "Junior," which I managed to shed in first grade. But some from the old neighborhood live on. There's "Chubby," "Figo," "Can Head," "Perch," "Banjo," and "Chibbers." Imagine going through life as "Chibbers."
Some names are perfectly suited to their owners. Bronco Nagurski and Otto Graham had to be football stars. It's a good thing that George Herman Ruth became Babe Ruth. And could Mickey Mantle have been anything other than a baseball star?
While walking on a high school track the other evening, I noticed this year's football heroes were honored by having their names and uniform numbers attached to the stadium fence. Four were named "Cody" while "Josh" and "Zach" tied with three apiece. I didn't see "Joe," "Robert," or "David." And for sure no "Louis."
I never understood naming one's baby what every other parent is naming their newborns. When I was in grade school, we had four Cindys in our class followed by several Carols and Kathys, who might have an "Ann" attached, as in Carol Ann.
Girls' names rarely heard today are Olive, Margaret, Rose and Agnes. If we hang around long enough, I'm sure we'll see the return of Henry, Harry and Victor. My good friends Bill and Rosemary Buchman introduced me to their young grandson, Louis. Hallelujah! A family with good taste.
Then there are names entertainers foist on their children. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes named their daughter Suri. Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin named their daughter Apple and their son Moses. Still this pales toFrank Zappa calling his first daughter Moon Unit Zappa and his first son Dweezil. Today the girl is an actress and comedian who goes by Moon Zappa. Dweezil? He would be better off had he been a boy named Sue.
Copyright 2006 The Business Journal, Youngstown, Ohio.